The websites http://www.marstoncomm.com/matures.html and http://merrillassociatees.com/ describe my generation as a silent generation – born before 1946. The silent generation listened and acted on orders – never questioned or participated in the planning. As a member of the silent generation, I followed instructions and did as I was told. I was the first of ten children, and my mother put me in charge of my siblings when we were playing outside the house, to make sure that we played harmoniously while she was doing house chores. We were supposed to play harmoniously, without bothering her or shedding tears. We were responsible for each other’s happiness. If any one of us cried, my mother spanked all of us, and I got a few extra spanks for mismanaging the group. As the first born, I was left in charge of my siblings when my parents and our baby sister were detained during the Mau Mau War of independence in Kenya. When my mother and baby sister were released from detention, she joined the Presbyterian Church of East Africa in Gathangari, Kenya, and brought along my siblings and I. I became a born again Christian at age 14. My father was released from detention a few years later, and we reunited, becoming a family once more.
I began primary education, standard one at age 17, completed my secondary studies at age 26, bachelors at age 57, master’s degree at age 73, and I am currently undertaking my Ph.D. in leadership in ministry and marketplace. I was forced to work as a babysitter at age 12 to help supplement the family’s limited income, and this work helped me gain a lot of family knowledge that I otherwise would have never gotten.
As a born again Christian, the church environment helped me sharpen my mind about family matters. I trained in culinary arts at Kenya Polytechnic in Nairobi, and I worked in boarding high schools, Kenyanga Boys High School in Kirinyaga district, and Alliance Girls High School in Kiambu district. I cared for over 700 hundred children from breakfast to dinner time. I worked with the Coffee Research Foundation Hostel Training for small coffee growers, where I gained knowledge about the country’s cash crops and the world market. I met many visitors from the World Bank – which funded the project – and from other European countries who came to taste Kenyan coffee. I married a minister in the Presbyterian Church of East Africa, and my role as the minister’s wife broadened my understanding of family issues. My understanding was bolstered when I joined a family where my father-in-law had three wives and more than two dozen children. My double degree in Psychology and Sociology from Georgia State University, in Atlanta, Georgia, licensure practical nurse studies from Atlanta Technical College, and Master of Biblical Studies from Beulah Heights University also deepened my understanding of family matters. As a clinical nurse assistant trained at Red Cross in Georgia, I cared for and interacted with the elderly in nursing homes and learned about the end of life experience early on – which helped me care for my ageing parents and parents-in-law.
My first marriage to Rev. Dr. Jotham Gatungo Wandu lasted over 41 years, and ended tragically when he died of cancer. We have five children, who have blessed us with seven grandchildren and more to come. I was a widow for seven years, but I found new love and remarried at age 75. My blended family of about fifty-five people has given me experience that I am more than willing to share with others. When I talk to my children about my life, they tell me, “Mami, write a book for us and our children to read when you’re gone.” The book is in its infancy. Meanwhile, it is my desire to start a blog that I hope will benefit my children and others in their 20s, 30s, 40s, and those facing retirement.
Over and over again, families are destroyed by a number of things. My parents’ relationship was dented by the war of independence (Mau Mau) in Kenya. Other families face the struggles of immigration and so on. My siblings did not have the chance to grow up around mama’s kitchen. Girls in our family worked as babysitters and my brothers were shepherds from a young age. We all started school late, and were separated forever.
The family in my blog refers to a wholesome family with a parent, child, and grandparent. My experience is drawn from the Church, The Scripture, my tribe (the Gikuyu (Kikuyu) people in Kenya), motherhood, educational systems, and my life in the American diaspora – where I have lived since migrating in 1983.
I also hope to learn from those who visit my blog.
I wish you a blessed moment as you read my blog.
Love,
Grace