Things that seemed imaginary or a paradise in my generation are happening in the real world today. Science and technology have developed and have made those imaginary things a reality, doable, and possible. If I belonged in the current generation where the things that seemed mythical are possible, I would have planned my life in the following manner.
At the age of twenty, I would have my genetics mapped to detect possible genetic disorders. If it turns out that I am free of any genetic conditions, I would invest in fertility preservation by freezing my eggs in a fertility bank. I would have gotten married at my desired age, and I would wait ten years before having children. Instead, I would spend ample time creating, discovering, building, and enjoying life with my husband in the first ten years, before having kids. Also, I would use that childless period to invest my money in necessities for my future family, such as life insurance, health insurance, income benefits insurance, security insurance, disability insurance, house repair insurance, stocks, etc.
I would make sure the money would cover unpaid maternity leave, hire nannies, and house chores. The saved income would allow me to stay home and raise my babies for six years, and send them to good schools. It would also allow me time to recover and gain my energy back to return to working rejuvenated. I would have time to rest at any time of the day since I have nannies to care for the babies, and the house help would relieve stress. During the decade-long preparation period, I care for my body to fit for pregnancy and ready to bear children. I would attend parental classes to aid in my motherhood journey.
Once I’ve executed the above, it’s time to get pregnant! However, not with one baby, but with four babies one after the other or I would give birth to four babies in one birthing. During the delivery, I would ask the doctor to do a cesarean section, a procedure that would elevate labor pain and avoid an episiotomy to keep that area intact. An episiotomy is a surgical cut made at the opening of the vagina during childbirth, to aid a difficult delivery and prevent rupture of tissues. I have experienced both a cesarean section (C-section) and natural birth. The recovery from the C-section cut was better than the pain from the episiotomies, which hurt more than the C-section, especially when I bathed in warm salt water.
In my time, the common practice was to bear one baby at a time. Apart from a few people who had twins, my late husband and I had agreed to have four kids—the four babies took me eight years. In eight years, I gave birth to four babies. I worked with no paid maternity leave and without enough time to spend with my husband because both of us were fully occupied with our jobs and had no break time. At the end of ten years, I was that woman most people call crazy-at home, at work, at the church, at the grocery store, etc. I recall the day I bursted into tears when a fly died after falling into my hot cup of tea — really just any simple thing would draw tears from my eyes. During a routine checkup, my doctor informed me that my involuntary bouts of crying were due to stress. I asked the doctor, “how can you tell?” The doctor said, “you have teary eyes and a crying voice in you,” something I did not realize. The doctor prescribed Prozac (antidepressant) for a short time period, in order to restore the chemical imbalances that were affecting my mood.
Since I had planned, made money, and invested for ten years in my ideal world, I could afford help around the home. First, I would hire a nanny for each child – that is four nannies for four babies. In addition, I would hire a cook, laundry care, house care, and a landscaper. I would spend my time breastfeeding and playing with my four children at home. Most days I would be well-rested and dedicate quality time to my husband. My late husband and I would get time to spend together with our children.
Once the kids are of age to start school, I would choose to homeschool them in incorporation with other homeschool parents. When the kids are grown, the nannies would pass household duties to the children, so they can learn to do things themselves. I would pay the children to do work around the house. They would use the money I pay them to buy the stuff they want and, in return, I get a tax cut for employing my kids to work in the family home. I would then use the tax cut to invest for their generational wealth, and at the age of 18, each child has resources to build upon and increase it.
Today, this plan is doable since the advancing science and technology has made it real for today’s generation to explore and take advantage. Currently, this plan is a noble way to avoid stress and hustles. What do I mean? All I am saying there are alternatives available to explore to make family life workable and possible.
Ūtakanyuīre ndoī kerita. Nī ndīkanyuīrīire ngamenya mũigana wako.