My mother, Cecilia Gathegu Chege visited us in the US and stayed for some time with us, and died here from illness. She died at home. As a family, we met to discuss what the next move would be. The family agreed to bury my mother here in Atlanta and one of us would take her home when we returned to our country. My mother was 89 years old and the first grandmother-Cucu in our community then. It is about twenty years today. I think it is a good thing to analyze our Gīkūyū proverb that “mūkui ndethikaga” meaning the dead person does not bury oneself which is a fact since one is dead, but the living people have to bury the dead. In countries like Kenya, it is not necessary to purchase a plot of land to bury a loved one unless you live in the city. Those who live in rural areas have access to trees that provide the material for the coffin and personal land where they can bury their loved ones free of charge-not so in the US and other foreign countries. In our country, there are some relieves of the burden for burial fees from the family land. We need to consider the easing burden on our families while living that once we leave this earth they continue living well even without our presence and with great income from the insurance with benefits. Planning in terms of burial fees, location, service fees, your life story of what you would like to know about, and a well-devised testament will allow the family to grieve rather than focus too much on these expenses. I have slowly started to prepare for the day I leave this earth. I bought a slot of land and a gravestone with my name, date of birth, a bible verse, and a space to write my date of death. I have secured some cash for my business, insurance that would give my family support to support the business. For my mother, the community raised close to ten thousand US dollars for her burial. She was laid to rest at Mt Harmony Memorial Gardens, 581 Veterans Memorial Hwy SE Mableton, GA 30126, and beside her left side lies her last born child, son Daniel Kariuki Chege. We, the community, also raised burial money for my brother close to five thousand dollars.
Before my mother and my brother’s deaths families here were losing family members here and back home. Each time there was a death in Kenya or here the community would come together and raise money for the burial and other times burial and travel money, till today we do it generously and we have kept our communal traditions of burial, but as mentioned earlier, in our country we have backups from other sources for those left living that is not available in a foreign country. The backups to care for burial and living families are different from those in our country there are many types of insurances we need to explore and pursue for young and old.generations.
When a loved one dies we get so busy burying the dead that we forget the living people need income for the rest of life. If we friends, relatives, and others do remember the living family there may not be much we can do for them that would give them certainty long enough. The great numbers of our people are the young generation very busy building families and have young kids. They are working hard in hard jobs and some are working and going to school. The burden to make ends meet throughout their lives and be expected to keep healthy, family, and holding marriages can be overwhelming. I learned that there is a better way to do many things that can help a young family not only during death but in long life in this country. My wish for us all individually and collectively is to explore alternative ways of easing some of our heavy loads during an illness, school, death, recreation, safety, travels, etc. It worked for me but gradually for a long time. It is important to look and have a personal understanding of what help one can get when sick like, disability insurance, when a loved one is in trouble with the law, help from legal shield help, or when a loved one has died, insurance with benefits, school fee investment for the kids, or buying family graveyard. Employing your kids in the house to the house chores and pay them and have tax cuts in return. We all can educate each other on many things available for young families with little kids that are affordable since the cost is low when they are young and have no health issues. Your youth is a benefit to you when used well as it is the means to the end. Do not hide in simple excuses for alcoholism that is ruining your family, job, church, and put some money into things of the future. Alcohol shouldn’t be taken in excessive amounts. If we start to consume like any other drinks for example water, coffee, or tea or like the food your health is going to start to be strong. The excessive taking of alcohol is a sickness and should be taken as illness seriously as excessive eating leading to obesity. I am diabetic and I got it from overeating adding the weight from pounds one hundred-ten to two hundred-twenty pounds, and I cannot boast against an alcoholic person. We both had or have an addiction and are now paying the price in our health, health insurance, and doctor fees. The family or any other person should stop labeling people who are under the influence of any substance, and take time off and accompany the victim to the rehabilitation home and support him or her on a daily and as the victim is healing you are also healing from hateful labeling and both will go home from rehabilitation healed and whole. Help take the burden of some of their family duties. For example, babysitting their kids. This way they can focus on getting better not to worry about who is going to watch or feed the kid. Of course, some insurance and some jobs give the individual compensation for these situations but it is always good to personally step in and offer some help. I accompanied a patient in the hospital for six months and it made a great difference. We both ate together, listened to music, prayed, skype facetime the family at home, and bonded, and help through other activities as well. We should not leave the young generation to perish while we are watching when there is much help available there5. We should not shy out of any negative label, we should do the right thing. If you happen to read this writing, help me with some input on how to encourage the young generation and their family.