I think the wives in my generation were the last to place a bowl of food and tea in a kettle on the dining table and turn around, wash the husband’s hands, and serve the meals onto plates and drinks into cups for the husband to eat and drink. They would also collect the dirty dishes from the table and clean them. The wife took up the work done by the man’s sisters and mother before he married. My sons watched as I catered to their late father and how I would bar them from the kitchen whenever they wandered in. The mother and girls were the only ones allowed to do the domestic chores – cooking, cleaning, etc., and Gīkūyū men now marry, expecting the same treatment from their wives. When I visit my son’s home, I hope to sit and be served by his girlfriend/wife like I helped my husband.
Whenever my expectations weren’t fulfilled, I’d tell my son that his girlfriend/wife was overstepping and that it would be better if he got a wife who served him like I did his father. Heeding my words, my son would leave his home and seek out a woman who was like his mother. Incidentally, I soon became the source of many of the issues plaguing my son’s family.
My son is a surgeon, and so is my daughter-in-law. They work in different hospitals, and last night they both were on call and came home in the morning. They were both exhausted, and they have no house help. The question that arises is who will make breakfast in that home if Gīküyü men don’t go into the kitchen?
Solution
Gīkūyū men need to find workable solutions to the challenges in their own homes.
Mothers need to teach all their children, boys and girls, to do what is required for the home.
Teach them to use available resources and make time to rest. Teach them that no gender is above doing any work. The children are all human, and they need to be taught self-sufficiency and the kindness of helping others in the home.