My mother took us to stay with my maternal grandmother, and I thought nothing of it at the time. When I was a bit older, I learned that the visit had a specific purpose. In the Gīkūyū tradition, when a domestic issue arises, and the couple cannot resolve it, the wife goes to her parents’ home to seek safety and consolation. What I didn’t know at the time was that my mother was pregnant. I don’t remember ever seeing or knowing my mother was pregnant until the tenth child was born. The mother wore the same size dress that never showed her enlarged belly, and she also draped a leso around her shoulders, and it covered her up to the hip. There were no maternity dresses, and mothers never told their children the truth about childbirth. The mothers described to their children-a baby-bought in the market, at a doctor at the hospital, or that a visitor popped into the family. We grew up believing these stories, only to later discover the truth about how babies came about. A father and mother’s roles for the baby become introduced as a visitor in the family.
The birth of my brother
While staying with my maternal grandmother, my mother gave birth to a baby boy. One evening at around five o’clock, my mother preserved the fire for the following morning and said, “let us all go to sleep.” We always slept before eating supper. She closed the door and put my little sister to sleep, then asked me to sleep. The three of us slept in the same bed, and I made sure even to snore to convince my mother that I was asleep.
A short while later, she got out of bed, peed beside the ground, and then got back into bed. I did not want her to know that I heard her peeing inside the house, but I kept wondering what would make her pee in the place before the sun even set. I must have finally fallen asleep because I woke up to my mother shaking me awake. She told me to run to my uncle’s house and tell my aunt to come immediately. I did as described, but we found my mother holding a baby by the time we got back to the house. I now know that my mother had not peed inside the house during the day, but that her water (amniotic fluid) had broken and that she needed to be ready for her child to pop out. I guess she did not want to wet the bed because we all had to sleep in it.
I never knew that my mother was pregnant, partly because she dressed in a way that covered her baby bump, and somewhat because pregnancy is never spoken of in the Gīkūyū culture. Gīkūyū mothers were then fed in njahi because it had no gas, increased breast milk, and kept a mother feeling full for a more extended period. Sour wimbi porridge was also consumed by the mother to increase breast milk. Unfortunately, I do not remember anything about the baby.We stayed with my grandmother until my father showed up one day and took us back home. A wife could escape to her parents’ home as many times as the problems occurred. Whenever a husband went to his wife’s parents to get back his runaway wife, he had to bring a goat and an elder or elders. He would also compensate the wife’s parents for the expenses incurred when they took care of his wife and kids. The elders, parents, and the couple talked about the couple’s issues and then offered advice on dealing with these issues and better relate to each other.