Christmas Day
One day I woke up early in the morning and saw that the light in our home was on. I stood by my bed and watched my parents having breakfast around the fireplace. My father noted my presence and called me to him. He told me that it was Christmas day, and we had a visitor. I looked around but did not see anyone else until my father showed me the baby wrapped in a clean yellow blanket, in my mother’s arms. My father did not reveal whether the baby was a girl or a boy.
I had not heard the word Christmas before, but I began associating it with the food and drinks we had for breakfast – sweetened sour wimbi porridge, cake, and tea. This was special, since us children never had sugar added in our drinks. My mother believed that sugar caused children to catch a cold. In the Gĩkûyû culture, a newborn is introduced as a visitor (mūgeni) or njahī (black beans fed to a mother after giving birth). People who visited the family during this time would be served njahī to mark the baby birth. This was so confusing to me at the time. I later learned that our new baby was a girl.
At the moment as a mother, grandmother, I went through the process bearing babies and had gathered much knowledge and yet I continue to learn. The intimating thing for me I was not brave enough to discuss the pregnancy with my little kids and I wonder how much confusion my children had. Yet in my time I dressed in the current maternity dress unlike my mother yet the topic of the birth of a child was not conducive in my family. I still remember during my last born child, I was still hiding from my children who were bold and said to me, “mami it seems as though a baby is growing in you.” I distorted the answer I gave them, “ you know guys we eat a lot of goat meat and bean and maize in our meals-a heavy meals- the reason I was growing big. I stopped attending the church to avoid any discussion related to pregnancy and birth of a baby in presence of my children and people who knew me. I brought a baby home from the hospital and no one knew I went to have a baby. It was a surprise to each one of them and their response was a distance gazing of what was happening in their house. The child before the baby went far from me and sat at distance from me and watched in a sad looks at me holding a baby.
I made an encouraging story to bring the kid close to me. The story went-”you have been the baby boy ten years and the one before was a baby girl for fifteen years- you are still baby boy and the one before you has lost her position to the newborn baby girl. Now you are the baby boy and the new baby is a baby girl. You both are my babies. The baby boy shifted from the far corner sofa set and sat next to me and loved the baby till present both became buddies.
All I want to say is how confused I was as little girls continued in my family. The terms I used- like the baby oil, soap, food, bed, small blank, anything raised many questions- who are we? Are not your children anymore? Why be discriminated us against baby’s items? I had no ready answers to the question since I had to give them the right information. I took time to figure out the some informative answers, I prayed for wisdom for God to provide me with what I assumed was the best way to handle it.
While I meditated for the best answers, I realized each kid wanted to eat a soft tasty baby bottle food looking like ice cream, drink baby juice, cover with a soft baby blanket, try to feel the baby bed. They went through a new practical experience of what the baby felt. I did not deny the kids to have a practical experience of anything they wanted, I quietly observed them and learnt much I did not know. It was a long time since my kids had a baby in the family and I had assumed many things I thought they knew.
My teaching-described the baby had not teeth like us, had no big stomach, had small body, soft skin, small soft blanket cover. Thus, the reason there is specific baby food, the baby stomach is small and eats small amount of food and gets full. Our stomach are big and we can eat many bottles to fill our large stomach, bed is small and weak your heavy body would break the baby bed, baby oil-baby skin is soft since baby not exposed to sun. The baby soft body needs soft covered clothes, for us we have tough skin from working hard, walking in the sun and doing many thing since we are grown, thus, we discriminate against the baby things and allow the baby to grow and be one of us and use the same things like us. The confusing moment I had as a little girl, about the birth of baby I passed it on to my children. I had to do something about regardless of the cultural beliefs.