Over the years, I learned that I was unaware of so many things since I had not witnessed them in my family or environment. Genesis chapters 1 and 2 (NIV) describe God’s creation of the universe from the first to the seventh day, and I believe that this is a message that humans should have a detailed plan of life.
Importance of the Mind-Body Balance
I took a psychology course at Georgia State University, where I learned about Eric Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development. My understanding of the eight stages helped me to understand my behaviors at the different stages in life, and what to expect from others. My experience with bible planning and knowledge garnered from books helped me achieve a balance of my spirituality and body. This balance is essential at any age because it helps us to achieve success in life as we can listen to others, to understand our emotions, embrace logic, and apply the information we have. The spiritual, mind, and body balance saves time, energy and money, protects us from stress, encourages mutual understanding, and gives people a greater chance of becoming successful. I am grateful for the knowledge I have achieved in my life because I have passed it on to my kids, who have passed it on to my grandkids. My only regret is that I obtained the knowledge later in my life after I had caused damage to my children, my marriage, and those near me.
During my time working as a maid, I noticed that the child responded differently to the mother, who seemed to know whether the baby’s cries meant it was time for breastfeeding, sleep, diaper change, socialization, attention, pain, or danger. The cries sounded different, and I began identifying them without even realizing I could do it. I can still identify the cries today.
Motherhood
As a mother, I realized that I feared my children wouldn’t turn out the way I wanted them to, and this would make me a failure. I did my best, but I was relieved when someone else was taking care of my kids: teachers, pastor, uncles, aunties, grandparents, maids, and friends. I only cared about the teacher’s credentials, but for the others, I believed that if their values and beliefs were right and admirable, then my children were in good hands. I firmly believed that everything would turn out as I wanted them to.
However, the college made me realize that my fears had suppressed my kids’ authenticity and that what I should have been focused on was freedom of expression, autonomy, identity, self-differentiation, etc. Today I wish I could reach out to my former self and ask her to get the spiritual and mental balance needed to live a life following God’s plan.
I can relay my experiences as a mother in the Gĩkũyũ culture, and the mistakes I made. Our Gĩkũyũ daughters and sons are now living everywhere around the world, and parents need to consider preparing their Gĩkũyũ children for what may face when they leave home.
When my children left home, I observed how they handled their finances. We had provided everything for them, and it was clear that they had no clue what went into making sure all the essential and non-essential supplies were present in the home. We hadn’t broached the subject of earning a living and life skills with our kids, and one day my daughter called to tell me that she had gotten a child amid her exam schedule. She told me that the doctor had cleared her to continue with the exams and that she was bringing my grandchild to us. She needed us to take care of the child until she finished her exams. We would then take the baby back to her when she graduated.
I remembered that as parents, we had never told our children about how we met, our income, our struggles to raise them, and the shortcuts we took. All we did was put on a façade to show them that everything was alright until they left for college. This was a huge blow to my image as a good mother, but I learned from my mistakes, albeit the hard way. I thank God for the joy my grandkids have brought into my life.
My Advice to Mothers
Your spiritual guidance is important, so plan to be a keen believer of God, a true worshiper, and a faithful churchgoer. Understand that you need to sacrifice time for church activities and to help a needy person through faith in God.
Follow the guidance of God’s Plan as outlined in Genesis chapters 1 and 2, which I believe will prepare the Gĩkũyũ children for life in the world after they leave home, and if possible, enroll them in a course on home management and finances.
Financial education is important, and some activities may help to teach the children important lessons about handling their finances. Hire your kids and pay them for their efforts. Allow them independence over how they spend the money to teach them about income and expenditures. Show them your income and expenditure to allow them to help you reduce bills whenever they can.
Teach them to avoid loans or credit cards. Teach them the importance of paying with cash or debit cards. Another important lesson that children need to learn is about investing their money whenever they can.
My advice to Young Adults
Planning for your independent life and its responsibilities are important for young adults with dreams of living a fulfilling life.
Plan financially to meet the cost of raising children before marriage. This can be done through the help of relevant financial courses.
Practice humility in response to life situations. When dealing with a problem, first reflect on the best way to respond. Knee-jerk reactions may compound the problem.
Choose a career that can cover your bills, vacation, and student loans.
Plan for the best neighborhood, children school (K1-12), and university.
Plan to buy a suitable home and car to accommodate your planned family.
Plan to purchase health, disability, and life insurance, as well as investing for retirement.
Plan for the cost of maintaining your home (cooking, cleaning, landscaping, laundry, etc.)
Plan for the number of children you would like to have.
Plan for leave/vacations before children are born so that each parent-father and mother are involved in raising the kids.
Plan and agree on how you will discipline your children, as well as who will discipline the children.
Plan family time, including eating meals at the table, recreational activities, and family vacations.
Plan for the costs, including time commitment, that will be incurred by the children’s activities.
Plan to find a multilingual nanny who can help drive kids to various activities and learn another language.
Plan what country kids will go to during their gap year and can learn another culture and language.
Plan to set up a savings account and to purchase life insurance for your children as soon as possible or born.
Plan for self-sustenance; do not rely on your spouse to support you. Let your spouse’s support be added for a higher-end
Plan and prepare to support your kids and spouse in attaining their own individual goals.
Plan and establish a budget for food and storage equipment, such as extra refrigerators or freezers and buy foods when on sale or from wholesale stores or open markets to save money.
Plan to cook enough meals for one week and coordinate a daily menu to save time and remove stress.
Plan to eat out occasionally to save money.
Lastly, plan to cover your funeral expenses by buying your graveyard plot or tombstone beforehand. The best the family graveyard see Genesis chapter twenty-three (NIV)
The above list is not exhaustive, but it lists the things that have to be considered before deciding to get married and start a family. In his book, “Life Begins at Forty” (1932), American psychologist Walter Pikin writes about the things that individual experiences after the age of forty. Therefore, strive to address the items in the list above before the age of thirty.
Couples who wait until after marriage to calculate the cost of living and plan their finances may agree with me that their plan never works 99.9% of the time. Their lives are more often than not chaotic, stressful, and unproductive. They take two steps forward and four steps backward. Eventually, this ‘yoyo’ lifestyle culminated in poor health and continued financial woes.
Wrong choices undoubtedly have an impact on an individual’s future, resulting in stress, dissatisfaction, eating disorders, alcoholism, and unfulfilling work experiences. While human life has a limited lifespan, there is ample time to experience your desires. The fear of God and humility leads to sharing the joy of a short-lived lifetime. The wisdom of God saves us from much turmoil. Whether we make good or bad choices, we will eventually return to the dust; we were created through God’s breath, and our spirit lives eternally.